I was asked to conduct an interview at 2:30. I said, “I can’t. I have a dentist appointment at tooth-hurty.”I love whiteboards. They’re re-markable.What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a nicely dressed man on a tricycle? Attire.I’m afraid of negative numbers. I’ll stop at nothing to avoid them. I quit my job at the donut factory. I was fed up with the hole business.Knowing how to pick locks has opened a lot of doors for me.Getting paid to sleep would be my dream job.You should wear glasses while doing math. It improves division.Life as a professional yo-yoer has its ups and downs.Went for a job interview and I was put on the short list. I’m 6’ 2”! How big are the others?I went for an interview. They said, “Can you perform under pressure?” I said, “I’m not sure about that but I can have a good crack at Bohemian Rhapsody.”In my job interview I was asked what some of my good qualities were...well my doctor always calls me patient.At a job interview I got asked to describe myself in a nutshell. I said, “It's dark and a bit cramped!”I interviewed an out-of-work contortionist the other day. He’s struggling to make ends meet.At a job interview I filled my glass of water until it overflowed a little. “Nervous?” asked the interviewer. “No. I always give 110%.”